For example, one situation where you may avoid amends would be confessing infidelity to a partner or admitting something unlawful. You may also want to tread carefully with toxic family members you must make amends to but need to keep a safe distance from for your sobriety’s sake. These are territories hard to navigate, which is why you need some recovery time and a support network to help you. Making amends in recovery is challenging, and individuals in recovery may encounter various obstacles. This can lead to a breakdown in communication, increased conflict, financial strain, and a profound loss of trust within the family unit.
Ways to Help a Loved One After Addiction Treatment
- Work to regain trust, but be sincere if you want your efforts to be taken seriously.
- Sometimes someone may refuse to hear an amends that we would like to make.
- By listening to them, you can begin to do the work necessary to repair the harm.
- And those words ring hollow when we repeatedly break our promises.
- It’s not about feeling sorry that you were caught or that the person is unhappy with you.
It is also crucial to understand that the other person may never be ready. This is when you ask a sponsor, recovery coach, or similar support person how to proceed. Substance use disorders (SUDs) can have a devastating impact on a person’s interpersonal relationships. In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power.
Bonus Tips for Celebrate Recovery Step 9
They go beyond mere apologies by requiring members working steps eight and nine to take concrete steps to repair the mistakes and damages caused during their addiction. Unlike mere apologies, which are just words, amends involve actions that align with one’s intentions and personal values, illustrating a commitment to change and personal growth. Sometimes an indirect or living amends is the best you can do. Of course, if you can make direct amends you should do so; this is why having a sponsor or advisor to help give you direction is so important.
Master Refusal Skills to Stay Sober
The first step to applying for the Living Amends scholarship is to visit the Apply page and fill out the first month’s application. If we decide to award you a scholarship, you must agree to our terms by responding to an email. Once you have approved, we will send the funds directly to one of our sober living partners. Unlike other sober living scholarships, your future is in your hands. We don’t pay the full amount for your stay in the sober living facility.
Living Amends is a non-profit organization that provides scholarships to vetted sober living facilities throughout central Texas. Scholarships are granted to individuals who have completed inpatient treatment and are looking to continue their recovery journey in sober living. Living Amends partners with sober living facilities to closely monitor each scholarship and intervene if obstacles arise to long-term sobriety. Making amends with family Sobriety is an important part of the recovery process. In fact, two of the 12 Steps (8 and 9) are specifically about making amends. Unlike apologizing, making amends involves acknowledging the hurt, amending your behavior (demonstrating changes through action), and righting a wrong.
What’s the Difference Between Making Amends and an Apology?
Assess whether the person you’re approaching is prepared to engage in the conversation about amends, as it can significantly impact the outcome. Another example of a living amend could be what is a living amends to accept the fact we owe someone an amount of money we cannot currently pay all at once. We make a promise to pay an amount we can every month and begin on the day we make the face-to-face amends, and we have a set timeline for when all the money will be paid back. My Mom, on the other hand, loves to complain about Ricky’s behavior. Sometimes I can listen supportively for a short period of time.
An important element of step nine is that those in recovery have already begun making amends to themselves by changing some of their behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs. The goal of this step is to find freedom by cleaning up the past to live peacefully in the present. Those in recovery are encouraged to keep an ongoing ninth step in their life by continuing to pay off debts and refraining from lying, stealing, or cheating. The ninth step is very action-oriented and provides a sense of relief. Although step nine can be difficult, participants should remember that if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. It takes willingness and courage to reflect on and find a resolution to your mistakes.